As David has mentioned, we somewhat recently had our first baby, a little boy. That’s about all the information I’m willing to give you on that. I value my son’s privacy. Before he had made his grand entrance, we did a lot of research on what babies actually need, and the results were…mixed. Some people told us you need a car seat and a laundry basket to use as a bed, and that was it. Others gave us a laundry list.
After sorting through the advice (and obtaining some of that ever important valuable research tool, first-hand experience), here are my suggestions. This is going to list more “big ticket items”, so don’t expect me to go into what brand we used or whether I think you should get diaper cream or baby powder or something small like that. Just the highlights for what you’ll want waiting for you when you come home from the hospital.
Non-Negotiables
Car Seat
Unless you use public transit for all of your traveling needs, you are going to need a car seat. They will not let you leave the hospital without one in your car. This is the only baby item we insisted on purchasing new. Because even if it hasn’t reached it’s expiration date, the constant everyday wear that occurs during routine stops and starts in your car eventually weaken the plastic. I’d prefer to have the longest amount of safe use possible. However, if you find a new or almost new car seat at a garage sale or second hand store and that’s something you’re comfortable with, go for it! Your sensibilities aren’t ours, and maybe you don’t drive as much as we do out here in Kansas.
Diapers
Unless you’re one of those parents that potty trains their babies at 10 weeks, you’re going to need diapers for a while. I recommend getting at least one package of disposables (or one cloth diaper of whatever type you’re going to use) of the size up from the one baby is going to need, so that you can try them on and see when baby is ready to move up a size. This has definitely come in handy.
We use a combination of cloth diapers during the day and disposables at night (diaper rash is the worst, yo) and that has worked well for us. I won’t preach at you about which you should use but I will say one thing. If you are going to cloth diaper, do your research!! There’s about a billion and one different companies out there with about two dozen different types of diapers you can use: prefold, fitted, two-in-one, all-in-one, a robot diaper that puts itself on, you get the picture. It’s going to be overwhelming if you wait until the last minute to make a choice. Also, if you go the cloth diaper route, Facebook marketplace or other such sites are a great resource for gently used diapers. That may gross some people out and you can definitely buy new, but it’s definitely more cost effective!
Bed
I don’t know if anyone has ever told you, but newborns sleep on average between 14 and 17 hours a day. Hopefully, at least some of that isn’t in your arms, so that you can get some shut eye too! So your baby is going to need somewhere to sleep. If you decide to cosleep, you probably won’t have to purchase anything, but otherwise you have some options. You can buy a crib, and eventually you’re going to need one. But for us, at least initially, it was easiest to have him close to us.
That doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy an expensive and fancy bassinet (although they make some pretty cool ones nowadays, that can rock the baby back to sleep if he gets fussy!). We ended up with a pack-and-play that had a bassinet layer that we used for the first 3 months of his life, and we have friends who genuinely went the laundry basket route since it was easy to prop up a little bit and their baby had pretty bad acid reflux. Some of this is going to be dictated by how much space you have, but definitely don’t feel bad if your kid doesn’t have anywhere fancy to sleep. They’ll probably be just fine, and it’s hard to resent you for something they can’t even remember.
Very Useful
Nursing Chair
Right now our son is exclusively breastfed, and fortunately he is reasonably easy to nurse. I can feed him anywhere. That does not mean, however, that it is comfortable to feed him just anywhere. Find a comfy chair (and if you don’t have one, consider buying one) with nice armrests and a plush seat. If possible, sit in it beforehand and see if holding your arms in a breastfeeding position is comfortable.
Breast Pump
A very useful tool to have in your arsenal, whether you have to go back to work or just want dad to help out with the feeding so you can have a moment to yourself, is the breast pump. Insurance is required to cover a breast pump, although I would consider looking into what kinds your insurance is willing to cover as it may differ from insurance to insurance. Also, look into what type of pump your hospital uses, as they will likely send you home with any pieces you used and it would be nice to have a pump they are compatible with.
Diaper Bag
There are multitudes of different diaper bags out there, so as always you should do your research. If you want you can just use a regular backpack or large purse, or you can get fancy with it and buy one that has a collapsible bassinet in it. Here’s my advice: before you buy a bag, hold a 10 pound bag of rice in one arm and try to open the bag with just one hand. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have almost dropped my son because I was trying to open his diaper bag and the zipper was being difficult.
Nursing Pads
There’s no way to get around it. If you’re going to nurse, you are going to leak. And not only can it be awkward and embarrassing, but if it happens to you in the middle of the night it can be cold and uncomfortable! There are disposable nursing pads and reusable nursing pads, but I’ve found that the easiest to use are the reusable ones. They aren’t stuck to your clothing so you can readjust them when you roll over and still get coverage, and they wash up as good as new. Whatever you use, buy a lot of them. You’re going to want at least a week’s worth if you buy reusable, one for each day and each night.
Burp Cloths
Our son eats fast, and I apparently let down milk pretty fast. Add to this information that the sphincter at the bottom of baby’s throats may not be fully developed until they are one year old, and what you get is a recipe for a spit up machine. In his first 4 months of life there was not a single day David and I didn’t both change our shirts at least once. So make sure to get nice, absorbent burp cloths. If you’re handy with a sewing machine, you can make some nice ones yourself by backing a nice cotton fabric with a cheap reusable flat diaper. One of our friends gave us these as a baby shower gift and I have never been so thankful.
Flops (for us)
Boppy Pillow
Some people swear by the Boppy pillow, so don’t take my word as law. But I never could get it to work for me, and nowadays we are only finally getting a little use out of it by using it to help him learn to sit up on his own. If something doesn’t seem like it will be of use to you, then don’t buy it! You can always try a friend’s and buy it later if you find out you like it.
Swing
Once again, please don’t crucify me. The friend that gifted us ours said it was a miracle sent from heaven above, but our little boy just hated it! It’s totally fine to try a few different things out and see what works best for you. Don’t feel bad if what worked for someone else just isn’t working for you, because no baby is the same.
In conclusion
Think of this post not as a checklist, but more as a starting point. It’s possible that some of the things on this list will be totally unimportant to you, and it’s possible that there will be things I didn’t have here that you will absolutely need. What you and your baby require is going to be unique, since you and your baby are unique! I hope I’ve at least given you some ideas, and eased your mind a little on fears that you are woefully under-prepared. You’ve got this!
What do you think? Which of these did you use the most with your baby? Do you disagree with my picks? Let us know in the comments below!
David’s Note: Honestly the most important things you can give your newborn are love, care, and consistency. And that car seat. The nurse made me re-hook up the car seat at the hospital. There are really nice gadgets and toys that can make raising a baby easier, but I never wanted to be the kind of parent who throws money at a problem to make it go away. Raising a newborn is work, but the work is what makes it fun. Love is the most important thing. Love for your baby, obviously, but just as important is love for your spouse. Kids deserve to grow up in a loving household.